Regaining my Confidence to do my Art

When I was younger I always loved to doodle in my notebook in elementary. I enjoyed it, despite that I would get me scolded ever so often when I wasn’t paying attention. And when I was in High school, I doodled more vigorously. My doodles weren’t anything to show off, but I grew fairly good at drawing certain things after a lot of practice. Among my friends we each had something, we liked to draw or focus on. I, for example, was obsessed with drawing eyes, mostly characters eyes from my favorite manga, to just finishing a drawing for a friend with some character eyes.

Which honestly now that I look back at my old sketchbook is kinda weird. HA, I suppose those did look rather odd to my classmates since I didn’t really talk much in class.

 

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Just a recent look at a sketch I did in class this past week….yup still got eyes…well half a set but you get the idea.

 

HA, I suppose those did look rather odd to my classmates since I didn’t really talk much in class.

It was during that time that my  past girlfriend at the time told me that I couldn’t draw, and should stop bothering to do so.

Ouch, now that hurt.

Slowly I stopped carrying my sketchbook and drawing in front of her altogether.

I’ve regretted that ever since we broke up.

After we parted ways, I held resentment towards her words, but more so at myself for stopping my hobby.

My confidence was shattered and I avoided actually drawing by hand for a long while, and because of that avoided any physical forms of art making.

 

It wasn’t till I changed my major and started to pursue a Bachelors of Fine Art, That I started to take part of more adult art classes at the university level.

This is what made a world of different. I remember my professor for drawing. Ms. Wheeler. She made the biggest impact on me. From having my most influential person at the time tell me that I didn’t have what it takes to draw, it was a world of a difference when my professor told me that anyone could draw. It’s not a talent that you’re just born with knowing how to do. It was something you practiced and that everyone wasn’t going to draw the same. Everyone had their own style and methods, her goal was just to expose us to the basics and eventually our own style would guide how our art would develop and grow. Her constant reassurance in class and her expectations of us really helped push me ahead.

Since then, my confidence has started to grow again. I may have put on bigger shows of confidence than I actually had, but most recently I’ve been trying to break my comfort zone all in an attempt to improve my art skills. They are really rusty considering where I was all those years ago of having to spend late hours painting or sketching well past midnight to make sure I had good work to turn in.

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I would have to take so much caffeine to force myself from sleeping. haha, I can laugh now, when back then I was crying inside for my bed. haha…good times.

Now I’m pushing my comfort zone again, I’ve been trying to do an art project each week and share it. Even if it is a small thing it’s all adding up to improving my confidence and skills.  I just regret letting the words of someone real negative affect me so much, I don’t know how much I could have learned in that time, now I’m just trying to make up for lost ground, but it’s ok. I’m having a blast 🙂

Woop Woop!

 

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