Onward

I’m not happy. Is there a reason why? Yes, me

My own actions have led me, or should I say, have kept me in this same spot for the past 3 years. I try to avoid social media, just for the fact that I become envious of all my past peers who have gone on to better and grander things. Yet I seem to have stayed frozen in time and have not progressed at all. I spend a lot of my nights thinking that tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I’ll make a change that will miraculously alter my course in life and I’ll escape my stale life.

The sun rises,sets,rises,and sets.

Nothing changes, my efforts may have gone on for a few days but nothing really lasts too long. Thats the way its been for the past three years. I tried to find inspiration that would motivate me, push me, drive me to something better. For a time I found something that did, or should I say, someone.

Yet that was short lived, but some good did come of it. I hit rock bottom. Currently, that’s where I am. Nothing feels quite like hitting rock bottom to realize you hadn’t hit it before, but just thought you did till you actually land flat out with the wind knocked out of you.

I’m not happy, I’m not happy with what I have or should I say what I don’t have currently. But now I really don’t have anywhere but up to go.

I’ve made this kind of blog before, yet I always lose it somehow. But maybe now this will work. No correction, this will work. I’ve learned a lot from being down here, the rock bottom. Before this blog was something I made to try and pretend to be someone I wasn’t. I thought that somehow if I could get an audience I could feel some sort of accomplishment, company, acceptance, something, anything. Now this blog will be a reflection of who I am. This post may be a somber one, but that’s where I am right now. Not for long, though. I’ve made steps to leave this all behind me. Not forget, but to move forward. Small steps but forward none the less. So will you join my journey? If so please share where  you are in yours? I’m going to start my new journey here onward. My blog will be an odd little place, but I hope I’ll find a few other odd people along the way who won’t be too irked by my writings, ideas, and different fancies.

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